


Quackibur Oneshots

by itsferrisbtw



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Drunken Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, eventually i might write smut but man im nervous, give me request cowards you know you want to, no beta we die like men, quackibur, request allowed, this can get straight up sad, wilckity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:54:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27757969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsferrisbtw/pseuds/itsferrisbtw
Summary: I noticed there was an audience for this kinda thing so guess whos ALSO posting this
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Wilbur Soot
Comments: 39
Kudos: 133





	1. Request Page

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers will b listed before the chapter begins  
> Don't make me bap you on the head for being a damn fool. Alls fictional for one shots. Cant believe i gotta say this shit. don't SHOW THIS TO THE PEOPLE

Hello!

You can make request here! 

In the meantime tho enjoy the chapters at their entirety!


	2. Fucking Feelings

How did they get here?  
Of all places to be in...

How did Wilbur get himself here?

Well, to begin: he was struggling. He felt frustrated at so many things that it felt hard to describe. Loneliness, like a single painting in a gallery of nothing, and yet he couldn't be the main attraction. So many eyes that could look at him, but not a single one that he wanted, to look at him. Was he purposely distancing himself? He wouldn't even know, especially on days that felt this bad.. Attraction isn't what he was wanting though. Even for his friends being around like usual, things still felt... Wrong.

  
His music was messier than normal as well. He couldn't make lyrics he was proud of- even for the praise he would've got from each one that... He never showed. He wasn't proud of them. They felt like trash among his other scrapped works. False words dancing on a page meant for beauty, but left a disgrace in his own eyes. Tuning never felt good either..

And- well... It almost felt like things had permanently changed, with a strange case in his life. Quackity to be specific. Alex had decided to branch his music out more rather than his silly tuning, and needed a place to stay, somewhere where music was a commonplace... And that, was with Wilbur.

It was almost 1 in the morning for him when his phone rung, vibrating the pillow besides his head as he tiredly went to go grab it.. "Hello...?" Wilbur had gently strained his voice, lifting his head from the pillow a he heard background noise behind the caller. _"hey- Hey!!! Wilbur! Hey man, uh, i gotta ask you something..."_ The man spoke behind the phone, his usual excitable tone was always surprise, but- maybe not at 1 in the damn morning.."Mhm... Yeah, im listening..?" _"Great- uh- Can i live with you? Your the main music guy i know and i wanna branch out- i thought it'd be fun too!! More time with my man! Pal, soot boy!"_. Soot boy???

_Soot boy?????_

Well, there was always a first for... Something. But the offer was something that seemed to slip by him, as his head thumped back onto the pillow as he thought. "Uh- I'm not quite sure about that Alex. I don't have a guest room or something to accommodate two people- maybe i can move things around in my music room but-" _"_ _Awww_ _are you scared to share a bed???"_ Alex's voice had stopped him in his tracks, as Wilbur had only slightly felt his face heat up in the cold room that he laid in.

Even for the warmth of the phone on his cheek wasn't really what caused it. For being so.. tired, this had definitely woken him up... _What the hell was this dumb feeling?_

"No- no? Not at all, but i don't think it'd be very comfortable for your case Alex.. i can set up the couch maybe..?" He had cleared his throat a bit as he fully sit up now, trying to think of what to do before Alex came. Where the hell would he sleep?? _"Well i really hope thats a yes from you because im already fucking packed an ready to head your way man"_ Oh Shit. "Wait- what??? When?- Alex why didn't you call me earlier???" Wilbur had jumped out of bed, rushing over to where his living room was.

Jesus  
It was a mess.

Lyric pages here an there, sheets of music- it was just a mess here. God. Putting alex on speaker, he simply started listening while he would've spoke. _"Ill be arriving tomorrow like 6 am man- its gonna be really fun!! I- uh.. can't wait to work with you!!!"_ Those words rung in his head a bit as he had hung up, as he was adjusting his living room. Working with him...? Working _with_ him?

Maybe this was the change he needed..

Even by the next morning rolling around, it was a late night cleaning frenzy for him, as he laid curled up and _exhausted_ on the couch, snoozing away. The sudden knock on the door, is what startled him awake though as he jolted from his slumber, knocking his ass down onto the floor. Haha.. anyways

Quickly making his way up, he had rushed over to the door and-   
There he was.

There was Alex himself.

He looked a bit more mature than the last time he'd seen him, but he still had that charm that he always had with him. "Hey man- oh my god did you just wake up???" Alex had seemed to cackle at the sight of him, as Wilburs face flushed red to how it was almost plain as day obvious he didn't sleep.

"Well- yeah- jesus i overslept i would've been waiting for ya but-" "hey no don't worry about it! Anything's fiiine from my _future musician sexy boyfriend~_ " uh oh. Wilbur had forced out a laugh to this, but his face told an entirely different story. Alex hadn't joked like this in awhile, with him. It almost felt a bit surreal what he was doing, and even almost felt jittery. He hadn't even had coffee yet and he was still in sweatpants and a loose sweater of his. Motherfucker had **feelings**.

And why!!! Why now of all times was he thinking about everything he was frustrated about- why he felt lonely- was because someone he wanted to look at him was now looking directly at him. Call him crazy, oh love at first sight isn't real, it was so sudden-

But it wasn't at all.

Even months prior when alex made these kinda jokes, he always felt... Something at it. Even their little minecraft makeout that was completely unscripted kind of felt something odd to him and only now it was worse- "Hellooooo, earth to Wil???" Oh shit. He looked back down at Alex and laughed.

"Sorry! I had something on my mind, c'mon- i made a place on the couch for you, or i can set up part of the music room.... Wheres your belongings?" He asked, only now noticing at the fact he only had a suitcase and a guitar case on hand. Where was his editing equipment an things? "Oh- left them in the car! I couldn't bring a lot of my things- but don't worry i still got my tools of Destruction" he laughed as he carefully set down his guitar case by his suit case, an there the two had begun _fully_ getting him adjusted into his... New home. With Wilbur...

And it was only a few hours later that you could hear the boys laughing away in the music room, strumming guitars once in awhile and a cackle following afterwards. "Ooooh you wanna go to the coffee shop so baaaaadddd~ you wanna go get fries so baddddd~" Alex had sung with the classic horribly cracked voice as Wilbur held his own guitar, adding onto the tune. "Go on to the movies, maybe even-" "Wait- what??" Alex had stopped him as he looked... Actually surprised. Alex was only trying to convince wilbur to go buy him something an explore town with him, but... Wilbur didn't really pick up the memo.

Which is pretty fucking embarrassing, as he held his guitar to his head an lightly hit himself with it, a laugh escaping his grin. "What, were you not expecting me to take you seriously in song writing, like what you asked for?" "What- no!!! I was trying to make you go buy me fries with a beautiful song!! _And i wanna hang out with you.._ " Alex replied loudly at first, but had seemed to mumble the last bit. Wilbur only sort of caught on, as his face seemed to redden a bit- again. Oh boy, how many times are we going through this?

"Well, you could've asked _without_ breaking my eardrums.." Wilbur had genuinely smiled and laughed at him, which only made Alex smile in return, but look back to his own guitar with a stupid smile stuck on his face. "Nah im fine here, we can continue now..." He had looked back up to Wilbur, the calm voice of his finally returning with the somber smile. Oh no. Oh no, feelings. Oh no.

The two seemed stuck there a bit, Unsure of what they'd say to this. Both of them were flustered. Both of them had hidden feelings, it just- who was gonna say first???

After a moment, wilbur sighed and put down his own guitar as he looked back to alex. "Maybe a break would be good, yeah? Not even the end of the day but im pretty sure your starved at this point, asking for coffee an fries- chips more like it!" He laughed as they both soon stood with laughter, following each other out of the room and back to the living room.

And it was exactly how they left it before, as both of them sat on the couch by each other as wilbur pulled out his phone, readying to order something for his friend... Alex though, seemed to notice the lyric sheets that he had sitting out before, and soon enough reaching out to read them.

A song called Fucking Feelings, but seemed messy and unfinished.   
_Hey_  
 _I wanted to ask you to the movies_  
 _But i kinda got scared_  
 _That you'd say no_  
 _We're not even close_  
 _I don't even think you fucking like me_  
 _But I could ask you anyways_  
 _Its not like you'd care, anyways_  
 _With the teasing_  
 _An the flirting_  
 _And here i am_  
 _Just ignoring_  
 _These stupid fucking feelings of mine_

_"... Wil?"_

A soft, unsure voice had escaped Alex's lips, as Wilbur had lowered his phone- suddenly realizing the paper he was holding. Oh god, he knew. And he hadn't evn been here a full day- oh god he's terrible at keeping secrets.

_"... Is this about me Wil?"_  
Oh god. The grip of his phone seemed to tighten in his hand as his face was filled with both shock and embarrassment. He was flustered beyond belief. He didn't want to be there physically right then.

"...y-yeah.." a strained whisper had escaped him without his want, as he quickly looked down and away from him. He was mortified. He KNEW and he couldn't say that wasn't for him. It felt like ages before either of them moved, and that was Alexs hand going on top of his own.

"You know..- i asked to move with you for music.. but i mostly asked so i could- could.... Ask you about h-how you felt." Alex had admitted, which seemed to make Wilbur's head spin with so many conflicting feelings all at once. A horribly large crush, mortification, embarrassment, confusion, it was only when he looked back at alex wide eyed, did he notice how close the to were.

And without even a question, the gap between the two had seemed to shut itself. A horribly wonderful mix of emotions had engulfed him right then. Fear but excitement. Love but embarrassment. Confusion but clarity. He seemed to relax into it, and it felt like as soon as it started, it had ended with pulling away to look at each other, a stupid smile on each of their faces.

  
Stupid fucking feelings  
You were a blessing right then


	3. Unfinished Symphony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L'manburg went boom teehee

_The day was approaching_   
_The day that L'manburg would be their own_   
_The day to mark the end of a power hungry tyrant..._   
_But.._   
_Was it really the end?_

Even through the months that he, Tommy, and even his boyfriend Alex had planned, there was always something _struggling_ to break free from its chains that Wilbur had created in his own mind. That this was not the land that he once knew by heart. This was no longer a land that was his own. Schlatt, through his venom infesting the people of what was once _his_ land, was no longer his own. 

It was periodically that he went to the area where... He could end the training, end the foreclosing war, end everything, right then an there. The partly broken chair, gunpowder remains of the previous TNT being there, but moved and scattered throughout the area.... How could he tell alex? That damn _**button**_. That could fix everything, if previous things just got out of his way. But he was back in this very room again... And it wasn't much of a surprise to him as he hadn't lifted his head to see who might've found him.

"..Wilbur..."

Alex. There alex was, behind him as Wilbur sat almost pathetically in the chair, his rugged coat showing its wear and tear on it through the holes in its sleeve cuffs, the smell of gunpowder seeming forever imprinted on it. He wanted to blow this entire thing, he knew there wasn't _much_ stopping him. Except him... ".. Yeah, love?" He hummed out in a peaceful manner, lifting his head and turning to see him. His false expression hadn't matched the fear that he could see on Alex's face. No one else was looking, except him.

"Wil- man- why are we here again..?" He strained out the softest whisper, as Alex took his look as the ok to go in and hold Wilburs shoulders gently- but obviously tense... " _Why_ are we here..? I- me and you made plans..! We made plans for after the war... We were gonna-" "I know, Alex.. i know. I-.... I just can't _not_ come here... There's so much to gain-" 

"And so much to lose too!!" Alex didn't look happy by the answer, his hold on Wilburs shoulders tensing as he continued to talk. "We're gonna get married, you made that promise to me man..- a-and i cant just... Lose that, for the shit we have to see in the next few days..." He said, even though he had to break eye contact with Wilbur to say it. He looked pissed, understandably... 

Standing up and going around to be at his side, Wilbur gently placed his hands near his face as he hummed softly. "And i wouldn't break that with you. We've planned so much.. we've gone through hell and now we're at the end, Alex. The end of the hell and a rise for a new beginning..." He carefully spoke, as Alex had eventually gave in, leaning his head in his right hand and looking up at him. "You can't fuck this up man... Im relying on you" he said, whispering the last part to him as Wilbur had smiled. Yeah, they both kind of relied on each other. 

Gently kissing his forehead, Wilbur had ruffled his hair and just- hugged him tight. He didn't want to let go of around the best thing that'd happen to him. Alex was the first to confess to him months ago, when he had secretly joined Pogtopias ranks, and feelings had quickly spiraled from there. He loved the man and Alex loved him. Tommy mercilessly picked on the both of them, but they didn't really care. 

With the tight hug in return from Alex, it felt... Settled, with Alex anyways. To keep wilbur away from the button, keep him away from here. Though, he could feel the creeping fear that no matter what he said or did... Wilbur was going to do it anyways. It couldn't be stopped if they didn't know where the TNT was. Everything could've just been stopped if he or someone else destroyed it.

"... You sometimes make me feel so powerless, Wil..." A hushed murmur came from Alex as he kept in the tight hold of Wilbur, which actually caught him off guard. "Powerless?" " _Powerless_. To have control over having an happy fucking ending, man.. I- Sometimes i just feel like-... Fate only has the worst intentions..." He huffed as he only buried his face in Wilburs coat, which only made him think of how easily he could blow the place down. Their home... Their future.

But it was when Wilbur had pulled away from him gently, bringing his face out of his coat to look up at him, when he had noticed wilbur rummaging in one of his pockets- and soon enough, pulling out an envelope. 

".. Alex, you remember when you first confessed to me, yeah? How we were both nervous at first? Remember the glances we kept giving each other and-" a small chuckle arised out of wilbur, a haze of a rose red dusting his cheeks. "The times you _screamed_ to avoid attention to our embarrassment.. your songs and your ridiculous- sweet, voice.... You weren't the only one writing down their feelings." He brought up, handing Alex the letter, clasping Alex's hands in his own with the letter. 

"I want you to open this after the war.. We can do it together, but we don't really know the outcome of the war just yet" he laughed- which got Alex to laugh too. Either out of **fear** or the joy of the idea that they'd really be happy in the end. That fate brought them this far, maybe this would be the final step.

"I mean- fuck Wil, theres no chance of us losing when Schlatts alone! We've gotta open this together- god you were such a romantic in the beginning and- look at us now! The place that could end our damn future!!" Alex had laughed, gripping the letter carefully but with full force. In full belief, it must've been one of Wilburs songs that he wrote just for him. Or maybe a confession letter- or--

A warm feeling had stopped his train of thought, not even realizing in his time of thinking that Wilbur was looking at him funny and had- eventually, kissed him to snap him out of it. It didn't last as long as Alex wanted it too, but Wilbur had his hands holding his face with a stupid smile. A smile that Alex loved to see. Reassuring even in the worst cases...

"C'mon lover boy, lets head out before I start overthinking this letter you have-" "you'll never get it from me!!" As they two both quickly left the area, now was the only time to think of this as Wilbur's goodbye.

Days had passed with the preparation for war, and yet... Wilbur knew this was the final moments he really had with Alex, final good moment's he had with anybody. His father, his brother, son, Tubbo and Tommy... They all were special, but this **needed** to be done. For L'manburg. For _him._

Even with the fight beginning and sticking by Alex's and Tommy's side, the chains he held back on the thoughts had broken, and his plan was in full swing. Both of them fighting against the 'greater evils' and getting a near to perfect shot on one of the soldiers- though it was too far away to tell who it was.

With them all eventually down.. it was only moments away. Before they had gotten down on the ladder, Wil had rushed over to Alex- Putting on a facadé of excitement in the form that they're soon to winning. "We're almost fuckin' done Wil I told you fa-" Alex was exclaiming loudly before Wilbur had quickly held his face with a firm kiss, catching him by Surprise. Soon pulling away he had grinned at Alex, "Fate has our side, love.." _but it didn't._

The rest had started heading to where Schlatt was, and Wilbur.... Soon left behind. Now was the moment. Now was the time. Taking off running back to the button, he had seemed to drop anything of unimportance to him at the entrance. This would be the last time he was here. The last place he'd see.

Eventually making it back into the room... Things were deafeningly silent. There was no movement, or boom's from the surface yet. Techno.... He was doing things so far ahead- he needed to get this _done._ This, would be his _unfinished symphony._

_".. Wilbur, what are you doing?"_

A certain voice had thrown him off, looking quickly behind him as he gripped at the stone walls, scratching at his already damaged hands. "Im finishing my presidental duty, for L'manburg. Phil- how the fuck did you get here??" "I had a bad feeling- Wilbur you already know how much this place means to so many people..." Phil had begun, a look of deafening concern plastered on his face.

"This is home, to so many citizen's. To Alex, to Tommy, Tubbo- Don't you want to see what happens for them? Don't you want to grow with them??" Phil had sounded more an more desperate by the minute, as Wilbur had begun hearing yelling from the surface... _It was beginning._ "Phil, this is not **home.** This is a shell of a home- the shell of a country left in its ruins from who ran it before! And for all i know, hes _**dead**_. This is my **JOB** Phil!- **_I need to finish this._** "

And soon enough, they begun to hear the first boom. A few more after that, and screams- yelling... Techno did it. Looking directly at Phil, he slammed his fist on the button....

At first...

Nothing.

**_And soon, the Symphony had begun._ **

A wicked grin, wide on Wilburs face as he watched him. "Go on, phil! Go on, i can tell what your thinking! Kill me!! KILL me!!!" He had yelled, grabbing his own sword, and forcing it into Phil's hands.

**_"KILL ME!"_ **

Alex, near one of the explosions had been knocked down to the ground, but his mind was on one thing. _**Wilbur did it.**_ How- why?? He thought they'd be happy in L'manburg and he threw it all away??? Wilbur wouldn't even tell him why he wanted to do it-  
But the yelling...

Picking himself up in severe pain, he had tried to rush back over to the detonation sight, and only seeing from far away Wilbur forcing the sword into Phils hands, and trying to pick himself up to the rubble, but couldn't quite make it up. "WIL-" He screamed out, but it had done no good, with hearing the yelling between father and son; "Your my SON!-" "JUST KILL ME!"

_That was where the symphony had ended its sorrowful song_

Seeing phil stab the sword directly into his own son's stomach, and, from Wilburs perspective, a hot firey pain engulfing his insides- the warmth of the blood seeping through his clothes, as he fell to his knees. He only wished one thing right then.... That he could take it back and start all over again. With Alex... His surroundings becoming muffled, but Alex's cry- scream, if you will was the last thing he caught, before a sad smile forming on his blood covered lips. There, was where Wilbur had died.

_Dear Alex,_   
_I know you'll be reading this either soon, or later down the years. Long after im dead im expecting. But it's no matter. I wrote this as my final goodbye, to you and everyone that provided such a life for me. But I can't explain much how or why i did this. L'manburg lost its purpose for me, lost its meaning and pride once the infected ram took over presidency.._   
_Wasn't i the bad guy?_   
_I ruined where we were going to marry_   
_To let you know Fundy as your own son_   
_I hope the ring in this letter is still in tact for you, love._   
_Never think that i didn't love you. I do and i always will, Alex._

_With full love, Wilbur Soot_


	4. Vital

_A/n:_ _hiii_ _dreams here,_ _Tw_ _for mentions an description of car crashes, don't read if your bothered by it!!!_

_"motherFUCKER! Why the HELL are you driving in this shit ass snow storm?-"_  
"Schlatt, calm down- me an Alex will be fine!"  
 _" Oh my god your gonna fucking DIE when you get home and it won't be from the FUCKING SNOW-_ ** _You brought ALEX??"_**

Wilbur sighed as he was parked on the side of the road, looking out at the snow storm taking over the roads. Not even the lights were enough to light up the road down, even though it looked beautiful.

 **"Im FINE ASSHOLE! Let me eat my soggy Taco's in the fucking snow!!! "** Alex had spoke over as his to-go box from the restaurant him and Wilbur had gone to for a date, that went successfully excuse you. The both of them could hear over the phone how pissed Schlatt was, hitting his hand against whatever was holding as a table, but it wasn't his gaming chair this time. _"If your not back with Mr flat ass over there by 2 im_ _callin_ _' the fuckin' cops to check if you crashed, GOT THAT? "_

And soon enough, he hung up, which this wasn't really hurtful. He didn't tell them that Alex was going to be at the Christmas party, where a lot of them decided to stay together for christmas- make things a lot more special! "Well at least he had good intentions in mind.. " Wilbur had laughed, as Alex was covering his mouth as he looked at his leftovers that he had promised to keep for the morning. "Well yeah- He would be fuckin' torn if you died! You dated the ram ass at one point!" Alex had laughed, and silence seemed to settle as they both watched the heavy snow fall, drifting with the harsh wind...

They could barely even try to see if there was any stars in the sky- obviously. But neither of them were really prepared for this bitch of weather to really hit either. Talking here and there- especially Alex nagging him an what was the thing he could've possibly got for him for the Christmas party.

"Oh come on- you've literally given no clues!!! That's so fuckin' unfair!!!" "I've already given my clue, an its the fact that I love you! That's your clue!!" Wilbur explained with a light hearted laugh, as alex groaned an shut the to-go box, and soon looking up at him with an _attempt_ of baby eyes. Begging for a clue. "Willll... Please, it's not a good clue... For all I know your getting me a law book that just has an I love you written in it!" "What- thats not true??" Wilbur had gasped, holding a hand over his heart- seeming as if he got hurt by the comment. "Im not that shallow!!"

Alex had huffed as he didn't get the answer he wanted, crossing his arms and making himself scoot closer by Wilbur- which he wasn't opposed, seeing how cold it was getting. He wrapped an arm around Alex, and lightly kissed his forehead. A small, yet warm touch to him. Loving and caring.. if they were gonna be stuck there, they might as well make the most of it.

The radio had softly played in the back, as Alex had his head on Wilbur's shoulder, watching out the window for any cars that might've passed by. Surprisingly, there wasn't any for awhile. As if they got held up back there, and or took another route. Which is what they should've done, but Wilbur insisted on the short-cut.

And then, there was one..

A slow moving but seeable car had passed by them from how they were still on the side of the road... It must've cleared up just a bit, right? Looking at each other, they didn't even seem to have to say anything to get the memo to _go._ Wiping the snow off their windows, they soon carefully had gotten back onto the roads- probably not the best idea here, but its the best they could do for the meantime..

"WOOOO!!" Alex had cheered, throwing his hands up on the roof of the car as they successfully got back onto the road, and soon enough continuing to try an drive. "Schlatt won't fuckin' kill us tonight baby!!!" Alex had kept going, grinning and messily- _miserably_ singing whatever christmas song was on the radio right then, as Wilbur had laughed an kept driving.

Though... The driving didn't last for long.

They couldn't see very far in front of themselves, and light's from the other car were nowhere to be seen. This would be fine, this was gonna be fine- right? Right??? Wilbur wasn't really sure- but they couldn't just pull over like they did before an possibly hit something. "Wil- relax! We're gonna be fine, just keep driving!!" Alex had tried to reassure his boyfriend, leaning up to try an see more out of the road, but something that neither of them could see was that it was covered in ice.

Maybe reassurance wasn't the best idea, due to how when he tried to speed up a bit- it started going out of his control of where the wheels were spinning. All of it was happening at a moment's notice as he tried to slow the car down- but it wasn't really wanting to slow down from the previous speed. Trying to back up only seemed to make things worse as they started to spiral in another direction. It wasn't working for being _partly on a hill._

A scream had escaped the both of them, as the cars lights were quickly approaching something in front of them, and Wilbur quickly an forcefully hugging Alex tight in his arms, to make sure nothing had hit him when they had eventually crashed the front of the car and soon-

_**CRASH** _

The glass of their front window and their door windows had shattered, a loud bang coming from the front of the car as it collided with a tree and snow around them, the crash only making snow fall off the tree an inside the car, and the radio was busted, nothing coming from what was once singing away Christmas tunes....

Silence....

It was pure silence, before the two tried to move again. Alex, was safe. His face was covered by Wilbur's tight embrace and the jacket had protected his arms from any upper injuries affecting him. Wilbur, however, had glass shards that had landed on his head, but none of them seemed to scratch him very harsh. Only a minor cut here and there on his face, and a few on his hands as well...

They were fine.

"Wil- oh my fucking god man- im so sorry Im so fucking sorry-" Alex had quickly gasped out, looking at the damage that his car was left in. A total fucking wreck. "Wilbur oh my fucking god- im so sor-" But it only seemed his apologies were stopped by his face being firmly held and being kissed repeatedly. Wilbur, was just extremely relieved that Alex was fine- they were both fine!!

He eventually stopped, sighing and his breath being seen by the cold air. "Alex i don't fucking care- Thank _god_ your ok!!" He grinned with a exhausted, yet relieved laugh coming out of him, and Alex only seemed ... Shocked. He didn't care? He just wanted him safe? This car went through so much with him an he was at fault of why it crashed in the first place- and he didn't care?? "I would've never fucking forgave myself if you got hurt, you don't have any cuts or anything on you- right??" He asked, him looking Alex over worriedly.

" No- no im fine! You got some though- Wil- man let me call 911 hold on--" Alex had quickly moved his hand around through the dark, finding the fact that both of their phones had fallen to the floor. But they seemed fine, thank God. He handed Wilbur's his as he soon had tried to handle the call, and Wilbur calling someone too...

"Hey- Schlatt....?"  
 _"Where the fuck are you"_  
"We uh.... We might've crashed"


	5. C'mon Emo Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please god forgive me for the sin ive committed  
> I wrote this as a joke at first and then accidentally got invested  
> I am SO SORRY

Both of the men that night were: A, Severely drunk. B, Fucking horny. C, not having a damn clue what was going on. Or D, All of the above. If D was picked, guess what! Your right! Wilbur, Schlatt, Alex, Phil _WAS_ there to be a control at the party but.. pretty sure he gave up and left early once he lost sight of those he was watching over. Carson and his friends were there too, and all of them were having a grand time.

Really, though.. Wilbur was at the bar, and seemed to get a lot more tipsy than he was really expecting himself to. Downing shots that were offered to him or just asked in general- things weren't a blur yet, but it was the feeling of being a lot taller than he actually was. Almost like he was floating among the crowd, laughing loudly at the dumbest of jokes that had been told throughout the group- half of the time it didn't make any sense, though. It was Ted's drunk jokes.

Though, other than phil being a control of the party, there was a few others there that couldn't legally drink yet still there... and maybe drinking anyways. What happened between them stayed between them, it wasn't like someone was gonna interrogate every person in the damn room. And one of those people, was Alex. He definitely wasn't drunk, but it was clear that he had a few shots to make him slur on occasion- giggling at nothing, and sitting at one of the couches with a fruity shot still in hand.

Wilbur had eventually tried to leave the bar, looking out at the people having fun, _making out_ , dancing... Specifically the few oddballs making out. He wanted to do that. To who? He'd figure that out later, but he felt on top of the world, holding another shot in his hand as he had a stupid grin on his face. _He was gonna find someone to kiss._

Out into the crowd he went, seeming to dance among the faces that seemed to blur faintly while laughing away by them. Some, even gently grabbing his shirt and with him not hearing them over the noise, seemed to accidentally shrug them off and kept looking for someone he knew. Well there was Schlatt, but he was already talking up some girl that caught his eye. Schlatt was a good buddy anyways, maybe not him. Not yet. There was Carson, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't have let him. Who who who _who_ would let him do something risky and not remember it in the morning hopefully???

Well, there was Alex. The Brit had placed his hand on the wall to balance himself, as he had seen Alex sipping at his drink quietly.. by himself. Well that was depressing...

But it seemed to only make him feel lighter, taller- _fuzzier_?? He wasn't sure, but he strode right over to Alex, and plopping himself down right by him. Which only made him laugh when Wilbur had accidentally slipped further into the couch than he was expecting, but had rested his arms on the top anyways, grinning down at Alex.

"C'monnn, why're you out here sitting alone Quack boyyy~? I thought you'd be- uh.... Screaming your heart out by now.." Wilbur had giggled, taking a sip of his drink as he watched Alex chuckle at the drunker, taller man. "Man- I'm not _that_ fun at parties- big ones like this too! Itss.. jus' kindaa... big!" " Oh thats no _excuse_ oh my **_god_** " Wilbur had scoffed lightly out a laugh, seeming to slowly lean more and more on Alex. " Aren't you gonna tryy... to do something you'd, maybe.. y'know, _regret_? It's not like you'll remember.." Wilbur had suggested, slyly smiling down at him as the shorter had gently tilted his head, unsure of what he was suggesting here.

"Y'know... like _Fucking_...or making out... or both.. maybe none! But wheres the fun in that..." Wilbur had leaned his head in close to Alex's ear, and even for his drink being cold then, it didn't help the beet red color take over his face, seeming to scrunch down a little with a embarrassed laugh coming out of him. Oh no. _Oh no_. Drunk feelings. **_Oh no._**

"I- uh-- Wil- I don't know thats so _sudden_ \- how many fucking shots have you had?"

"Mmh... too many, but offer still _standsss_ ~"

Wilbur had lightly sung, feeling higher, than on the top of the world right then. He felt ethereal, for a moment. He would probably remember this night for awhile if they really did go this risky, but that was the fun about life. The unexpected an risk taken. "C'monnnnn- hows that one song go.. _fuck me_ emo boyyyy~ _c'mon fuck me emo_ _boyyyy_ _~"_ the Brit had jokingly sung, a slur in his voice as he was practically hugging Alex at this point. All of this was a awful mess of emotions for Alex. Conflicted and humored by Wilburs awful rendition of the song.

But, he might as well.

Setting down his drink, he grabbed Wilburs shirt collar as he pulled him in for a kiss, catching him off guard. Well, it was definitely what Wilbur was originally aiming for, but he didn't expect it to feel so.... _Warm_. And nice. It seemed to only for a moment bring him back into reality, and letting go of his own drink as he melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Alex cautiously.

Of course, they had soon enough pulled away, and to the both of them, it felt like only them in the room, and that only their eyes on them mattered right then. 

"Now.. im not really up for the fucking part, but- maybe the make-out would be fine.."  
"even after my song?? Im _hurt_ "  
" Just shut the fuck up and kiss me"


	6. 1980's Horror Film

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Had this one requested!! Hope its good!!

_Finally, some time alone._

Or- alone with Wilbur, that is. A break from streams an just hanging out with him. Alex had wanted to keep up one of his promises for awhile, and just maybe, tonight was the night. Wilbur was in the kitchen, scrambling around to look where he placed the stupid god-damned popcorn packs at. Did he not actually have many??

"Wil- what're you fucking doing in there??"  
"Im _LOOKING_ for the popcorn- I don't think I have any??"  
"How the hell do you not have popcorn- everybody has at least ONE pack hidden in their house??"

Alex had peeked his head in the kitchen, only to see his boyfriend had been scrambling in the cupboards trying to look for one. There was one already on the table. Dumbass. "it's a wonder you even look down at me when you don't even look at your fucking table" He spoke nonchalantly as he walked over, grabbing the bag with tearing the plastic off of it as he smacked the back of Wilbur's back lightly with the bag, and him looking baffled at him.

"It was on the table??" "I put it there earlier, I thought you'd just grab an go!!" The shorter of the two laughed, as Wilbur snatched the popcorn bag out of his hands and shoving it into the microwave for whatever time it needed, and only the buzz of it filling the short lived silence..

It was Wilbur, who broke that silence as he was lightly leaning on the counter, and looked at the various movie cases Alex was holding. ".. We're not watching a horror film, are we?" "Mmmmaybe, you trusted me in picking out movies, so why not choose the most sexy ones??" Alex had cheesily leaned against Wilbur, as the Brit scoffed at the idea. "I told you I'm not a fan of horror film's Alex!" "What, scared your gonna have to hold on _soooo_ tight to me an I'll be the one holding you for once???" The other cackled while making a stupid kissing sound, that only made Wilbur turn him around and hold his face, glaring down at him.

" _You'll_ be the one scared when I'm the one distracting you." Wilbur had softly spoke, although his voice wasn't very threatening- it definitely did put a few ideas in both of their heads. Some that made the other's face heat up. Maybe Wilbur was only joking, or maybe, knowing him, he'd-

Wilbur was the one smiling now, gently laughing to the reaction he'd gotten out of his boyfriend. Yeah, he wasn't joking on this one. Not at _all._ He had made the move to go an kiss him, but had only leaned in close for him. _"That's your only warning, love.."_

Well shit.   
Sure, he got a warning. But... Was Alex _really_ gonna listen? Of course not. What, do you think he doesn't try to embarrass his boyfriend all the time in payback for the countless times he'd embarrassed him??? "... Yeah, yeah, okay- Let me go put on the movie, okay?" Alex simply smiled, giving him a quick peck before walking off back into the living room.

Wilbur only sighed as he knew what was coming next. This might be the first, but it definitely won't be the last. Getting the popcorn out and shoving into a bowl, he made his way back to the living room... Only to find the start screen of one of the horror films he _specifically_ requested not to watch. Fucking _Poltergeist._ Specifically, the original.

"Really, Alex?"  
"What?? You gave me a warning an you expect me to listen???"

He only scoffed as he went and sat down by him, but kept the popcorn away from Alex. Out of spite. Just purely out of spite. "I wasn't joking when I warned you.." "Oh I know" the shorter one laughed, leaning against Wil with a blanket to cover them both as he soon began the movie. Yeah. This wasn't gonna end well.

It was in the first 20 minutes, that their little war of distractions had begun. The suspense of the ghost hand slowly reaching out of the screen- Alex wasn't really bothered by it, but he could feel Wilbur moving a bit uncomfortably to what was going on on screen. Like they both knew what scare was gonna happen before then. Adjusting himself to sit up, Alex had looked at Wilbur with a smug grin plastered on him, as the Brit had saw through the dark- oh right! _Distractions._

Wilbur didn't give him any warning whatsoever, as he lifted the blanket by one of the farther ends, quickly pulling it closer so Alex was trapped right with him, him sitting in right his lap. "I warned you~" He hummed with a cocky grin on his face, as he had pulled alex into a purposefully long, and drawn out kiss. All to avoid the uncomfortable scares. What a fuckin' baby.

Though, Alex wasn't opposed to this at all, even laughing through it as he moved his hands away from the remote and to hold Wilbur's face in his hands, pulling away a few times to try and whisper to him that he was a little shitass for not watching the movie. It was even past the scare of dragging the girl to the screen at this point, but the two were far too comfortable like this to really care.

Wilbur had let go of the hold of the blanket, only to let it fall as he wrapped his arms around Alex, and for them to part for a good moment. Both of them were fairly red in the face, and this definitely wasn't the end of this. "Your a little shitass, man. Can't even watch a girl get dragged into a tv!" He laughed, which the Brit only scoffed out a laugh. " Well it's not my fault that-" "It's entirely your fault for being a little baby about it!!!"

Alex why do you doubt this man. Why in gods name do you doubt this man. Even for being purely to show he wasn't a baby, Wilbur quickly shoving his cold hands _under_ Alex's shirt and having a firm grip on his sides had caught him off guard- even gaining a small yelp out of him, and having him glare wildly at Wilbur for it. His face was beet red, even for seeing that from the TVs light. Yeah, Wilbur still had a stand here.

 _"Let go of my fucking sides. Right now."_  
"I don't think soo~"  
 _"Wilbur"_  
"Alex~"

Alex's glare had only seemed to worsen, as he could've been sure Wilbur wouldn't go farther than this. But oh alex.

_He can, and he would if he wanted to._

"Gonna apologize, love?" He hummed out, having a devilish grin on his face as the movie played in the background. The crash of the tree could've been heard, but it wasn't really that much of a fright for Wilbur. It seemed really that visuals were what scared him, and Alex was sort of... Stuck. Unless he apologized. "Im not really sorry but im _sorry_ you little shitass" he squinted at him, as Alex moved his hands down to Wilbur's neck, gently wrapping around him as they stuck close.

Though, Wilbur accepted what he could get. For now, anyways.

He let his sides go and his hands free from under his shirt, all to have a silly smile and grabbing a piece of popcorn, and tapping Alex's cheek with it. "I'll get payback later, yeah?? For now let's just finish this.. " he hummed, as his boyfriend rolled his eyes, relaxing back on him and using him as a pillow, as they enjoyed the rest of the movie.

That definitely wasn't the last of the distractions, though...


	7. Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepy cuddles by request from Wilkity! I only just fuckin realized ur name is wilbur an quackity. Oh my god im stupid  
> ANYWAYS IT HAS A TWIST HAVE FUNNNNNN

Nothing.  
At first, there was nothing.  
There was nothing but the feeling of bedsheets, and laying alone in said bed.

Cold.  
It was cold.  
An uncomfortable chill washing over, yet hands burning as if holding gentle snow for too long

Alex was in this dream again.

The... What, 36th time he's opened his eyes in this dream? A jumbled haze of light from the afternoon sun blared down on his face, but even seeing though the window showed it was foggy, and muddled... He couldn't recognize the outside. Dream logic, he was nowhere, but everywhere. He's tried just laying there, but his head gets smashed with a falling flowered vase. Glass, mind you. Hes tried leaving through the widow, only to have his hands be crushed slamming down again and holding a death grip on his wrist.

He didn't want to try that again. It was slow, painful, and not worth it. He tried to explore on his computer from the unclear screen, only to get electrocuted. He tried covering the window with the blinds, only for... Well, nothing to happen. But it definitely didn't get him anywhere. He's had this dream constantly, but every time, there was never a clear answer. Why was he stuck in this loop? If he just kept trying hed wake up _eventually,_ but this was something that'd plagued him for a few years now... Considered recent, but old.

This time, he actually left the room... Again. But there wasn't a clear sign of where to go first. Bathroom usually made him drown in one thing or another. So, so many things. And the pain was real- but.. not. He could feel it like horrible pricks in his throat, or wherever the event strikes. Without even bothering with the bathroom, he went down the hall, and soon down the thankfully working steps. Short and actually had a bottom to them this time. But there was something.... Different.

Wilbur.

He stood dead silent in the seeable living room, but no noise came from whatever could've been in there. "... Wilbur?" He barely spoke over the softest whisper, as he walked to the living room. He stood there, looking out the window... A window which only showed a void, and looking back at Wilbur showed a blurred face. A mess, if you will. "Wilbur??" Speaking up, the figure that was Wilbur _actually looked back._ But in a moment's notice that a loud screeching had caught him off guard, having him hold his hands over his ears..

And he was gone.

Like Wilbur was never there to begin with. This had to be some clue- right?? Cautiously uncovering his ears, he looked to the window that showed nothing but a void for outside. Like the afternoon haze didn't exist in the first place. It was foggy to him, but he had managed to smash the window open with the surprisingly sturdy TV remote...and went right through it. Only to feel the horrid pang of breaking bones. That, he'd done before... It didn't feel like needles this time. It felt like his body had _broke_ right then. He felt like hell. Worse, than hell actually.

But he awoke to the same, awful afternoon haze... Again. He couldn't even sit in the bed without something wanting to happen to him. This was bullshit! Absolute fucking bullshit. Out and back into the living room, Wilbur was gone this time... So maybe it meant something for later? Diverting his attention away from the window, he walked his way to the kitchen with his movement feeling ... Fine, surprisingly for a dream.

Even for running his hand against the wall while walking, felt like running his hand against fine, but almost... Watery? Silk.. he didn't know the exact feeling. Like a current, almost. But even when looking at the wall, it was a plain light shade of brown. It was nothing more than that... Until he looked further down the wall.

There was no kitchen in sight. A continuous hallway like he'd seen before- but this one had an ending... Or so he hoped. Looking around him and back behind him, only seemed to change the reality he dreamed of. A soft shade of brown, molding away to a touch of gross, charcoal grey. The light of the afternoon gone from reality, and the floor below remained its white and black checkered tiles. The hall was ... There. Like it was always this way, even if only a moment ago he'd seen differently.

"Alex...?"

A faint echo of a familiar voice rung through the hall, as he looked around frantically for where it came from. Voices weren't _normal_ in his dreams. It was always just his own voice, or sounds that formed their own voice. Incomprehensible words from the unseen. But it was Wilbur. Where was Wilbur? _"Wil???"_ He called out, but with no response... He had to be close, right?

And only seeming like a soft _boom,_ rattling the tiles below to slightly lift in the air... The familiar screeching had sounded off like a never-ending alarm again. Having to hold his ears, the sound seemed everywhere. Basically surrounding his entire being, enclosed in a tight grip of the ear bleeding noise.... Until it stopped.

It really stopped.

He was sat on the ground, curled around himself in attempts to avoid the sound... only to open his eyes to the now ruined, torn, and carved walls that surrounded him. Gashes that different color lights spewed out like liquid. Wine stained tiles that surrounded some of the doors, and some tiles missing of the floor entirely... This never happened before, either. He was never given multiple doors, all with some sort of murmur following their hollowed appearance..

But which one? Slowly picking himself off the ground, he had shakily sighed before continuing to go forward .. there had to be somewhere that lead him to Wilbur. There had to be. Even for what seemed like an endless walk.... One white door stood out from the rest of the fake doors on the walls, that could look like they'd fall off at a single touch. The door was pristine, nothing wrong with the tiles around it either. He could trust it.. or he couldn't. But at this point he didn't have many clues-

_"Alex???"_

Wilbur. Wilbur was closer than he was previously. He sounded like he was saying something else with his name, but... Wilbur sounded almost terrified, in a way. What was going on?? He could've been dying for all he knew- about to die- or _something._ But he was saying his name. Alex- _he_ could've been the one hurting him. It really only sickened him to think about, as he headed for the door in sluggish movements.

Even for how sluggish he was, it was soon that he was there. The tv remote from before had entirely slipped his mind, and was gone from sight. He had a tight grip on the handle, which he had slowly opened... To reveal the door fading- almost melting pleasantly away into fine, golden particles that seemed to embrace him warmly.

The handle he was holding had morphed itself into a hand, and the more the lights had twirled around him, the area had fallen away like fragile porcelain glass, only to reveal the tender touch of the evening sun against a horizon. Grass blades had swept away at his sides and had tangled in the shoes, leaving him stuck where he stood. Even for the empty field, he could see a large tree that seemed faintly lit up at the branches. It was so much nicer, than other endings of dreams...

The hand that he had held had tightened itself gently, as he looked to the form again. It wasn't a flow of golden sparks, anymore .. but it was Wilbur. He seemed higher off the ground, and soon holding Alex's other hand as well. "C'mon.." his faint echoed voice had murmured among the gentle winds. But Alex... Was stuck. His shoes wouldn't move off the ground, as if held down by anvil's. It was a few harsh tugs, till hearing Wilbur laugh and soon hugging Alex tight to himself, only for the shorter to grasp on as tight as he could.

It resulted to Wilbur easily tugging him off the ground, and feeling as if gravity had shut itself off. Alex was the one to curl up more in a ball when he was suspended, but Wilburs warm hold had kept him safe...

Safe....

He was safe.

With a heavy shut of his eyes, they had only seemed to open again to the sudden warmth against his cold hands. He could feel the bedsheets, blanket covering him, and he could feel some of the pillows.. but he was being held. Wilbur was holding him- and rather tiredly too. He was barely even awake, when he felt Alex moving around again thankfully.

"Alex...?"  
"Mm... What time is it.."

A short shuffle around to grab something, and a quick response. "Its 3 in the morning..." The brit softly croaked out, a small laugh following.. but Alex frowned as he held himself against him more. "What're you doing awake...?" He quietly asked, as he felt Wilburs head tiredly sit on top of his. "You yelled out in your sleep.. a few times, actually... Not really talking but you seemed scared.." he hummed out, his arm laying on the bed shifting itself to ruffle the shorter one of the twos hair.

".. even if thats the case, you need sleep too" he replied, which only got him to look up at Wilbur who was rolling his eyes. "I can't miss to hear about your dream that you'd only forget in the morning..." "well your not getting it anyways..??" "Oh c'monnn.. " Wilbur had yawned, moving both his hands to hold the others face and kiss his forehead.

"You know you wanna tell me.."  
"I will... In the morning-"  
"Nooo... C'mon Alexxxxx...." He begged, continuing to hold his face, and able to see the soft begging expression he had from the lamp on over his side. But he might as well, before he forgot...

".. it was a repeated dream..." He begun, resting his head on wilburs arm that was behind him, hugging him. "I've had it multiple times... For a few years now actually. I don't know what sparked it, but it just happens... I die- a lot, in my repeated dreams. If i try to go back to sleep something falls on me an fucking kills me, if i try to leave through the window my hands are smashed and im left stuck until i wake up in the dream again. Its- always the afternoon too..."

He had begun to tell the story, yet avoided the countless other times an descriptions of how he died in the repeated dreams. All of which had made Wilbur a lot more worried than he was expecting. It didn't sound like a fun dream at _all._

_"... But I saw you, and that never happens..."_ He admitted softly. "you were.. Looking out a window of a void... I- thought it was a clue to escape and i jumped out of it... " He laughed tiredly to the statement, but it quickly died again. "I felt my bones **break.** Tear through me and shatter like I was... Glass." He dropped on him, and the memory of it had only made his bones feel uncomfortable from being where he was.

".. you feel yourself dying...?"  
"I- well yeah... A lot are just a severe pins an needles feel but- I broke bones before. So i knew somewhat what it was like to break my whole body... " He added, which Wilbur looked almost _horrified_ at the information. He couldn't imagine himself dying so many times, only to realistically feel how itd feel. And only for it to be repeated. It sounded awful..

".. so when I went back to try an follow you to maybe the kitchen, the hall turned longer, kinda fell apart- there was a lot!!- the tiles, the weird lights in gaps.... But I eventually found this white door. It lead me right to you... " He smiled a little, closing his eyes some again as they both laid there to his story.

" You, were the door. The knob turned to your hand- and you were holding my hand as you formed into you. We were in a field, this big fucking tree in the background when it wasn't afternoon anymore... And I was kinda stuck in the ground- you made me hold you, we went in the air, held me like this.... And now we're here."

He sighed as the story was ended, looking up at Wilbur to find him staring at the ceiling. That's... A lot to process. But he adjusted himself to turn off the lamp, an wrap himself around Alex again with a soft hum. "If you find yourself like that again... Just yell, and I'll wake you up... Yeah... Sound like a deal?" He hummed, tiredly looking face to face with him.

"... Yeah, that sounds good...."


	8. Train station

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I legitimately hate this writing and even editing it from wattpad i still hate this im finna bark  
> i guess mention of being high an drunk which is a terrible combo, dont do it yall  
> dude i hate this so much i hate it with a burning passion.

─────── ∘°❉°∘ ───────

Wilbur didn't exactly know how he got himself here, of all places to end up at.

Getting high with his crush would be fun, he said! Getting alcohol before getting high would be fun, he said! But something had kept playing in his mind like a broken record. He didn't even say a word when the two of them had been laughing mercilessly at- nothing. Nothing but talking about memories, and stupid ideas. One of which being to go out to the middle of nowhere and see what they could find, but of course they wouldn't. Not like this. Things felt so escalated, so _so_ very big, so suffocating, so.... Right.

Alex had been holding a shot glass and his head resting in Wilbur's lap, laughing at whatever slurred thing that Wilbur had mentioned. That of which, didn't matter. The echo of a laugh sounding like a disordered symphony to both their ears, but Wilbur had already set his drink down on a side table by the couch, an holding his head in his hands.. what was so funny? What really was so funny?

"Alex- Alex alex alex alex..." He had started softly repeating his name, the drunken warmth taking to Wilburs face with the slopped grin. A soft touch against Alex's face. Dragging his finger in a slow, small circle on his left cheek as silence took over the room right then. It was almost deafening, how heavy the silence was weighing on Wilburs shoulders. "Yeaaahhh? What's- what's up Wil?" Alex softly replied, his hair a mess from- actually taking off his beanie for once. It was uncomfortable, and it was longer than Wilbur really expected, but it looked nice on him..

"Have I ever told youuu... Told you-.... What? What haven't I told you?" The thought slipped his mind, as he laughed it off, Alex squinting at him in attempts to try an remember. "You- you told me about the time you got drunk in a tub and hit your head- and a dream you had of being trapped in a ocean and... You saw a fucking anteater there for a second but it vanished- you panicked, right? An woke up?" "I didn't _panic!!_ " Wilbur insisted, but the two laughed it off, Alex taking a hold of Wilburs hand that was on his cheek.

"Sometimes I think about the dreams you tell me... Is that weird?" He started softly, lazily intertwining their fingers, yet paying no mind to how it might've felt for Wilbur. It was like he could feel- too much, of his hand. Dumbass thats his whole fucking hand what does he mean. "You have a lot of dreams about the ocean... Being lost in it. You messaged me- one night when you woke up in a panic from how you fell off a boat and you said i was there trying to hold you back... " He talked softly, looking at Wilburs lightly reddened face watching him in curiosity.

"..I did? I don't remember that..."  
"Well it was- what- 4 am for you?? I don't fucking know, it was really late for you."  
"That doesn't excuse me not remembering, though... What others do you remember?" He hummed, looking at their hands again as he didn't really want to move. He felt like something would shatter, if he even tried. He almost felt jittery from it all, and small sips of his drink added with that didn't help settle it at all.

"There's one that- you wanted to tell me once, but you forgot it the moment you woke up... You then never told me an said it was too embarrassing. Do you wanna tell me now??" Alex laughed, but it was to his surprise when Wilbur had looked away with a slim, drunk smile on his lips. He knew exactly what he was talking about, and... Did he really want to talk about that yet?

"No, not really..." He laughed a bit under his breath, but Alex whined out of annoyance to this. He wanted to know!!! "Oh c'mon, you can tell me if it was a horny dream or something-" " What the fuck- not even close??" Alex scoffed as he held Wilburs hand close to his chest now, and Wilbur laughing as he shifted a bit uncomfortably. "Then what was it that you're like- too embarrassed to talk about?? Even when your high, I might add!!" "I just... I don't- um... " Wilbur stopped for a moment, unsure how to put it without worrying him.

"I don't want to ruin our relationship, with it... I know thats silly, because its a dream- but..."

Wilbur soon silenced himself, as Alex's face softened to this. It was a dream, but something Wilbur held true to him. And, it was about him... Or he thought. Probably. Might as well assume. "Oh... Well-" Alex soon sat up, placing his drink down on the coffee table and having a firm hold on Wilburs hand. Now, more for his comfort... Which wasn't really comforting Wilbur, but it's the thought that count's. "I, Alex, promise it won't ruin our relationship. If I fucking died or something and you sobbed over little old me- That's more sweet than embarrassing, you know" he winked at him, and Wilbur only rolled his eyes, but sighed.

He didn't want to tell him. He could lie, and Alex would believe him. But he didn't want to lie either. He remembered vivid parts of it, but he would try to tell all he knew.

"It started off in a train station..."  
He remembered it clearly. The loud chatter of other people there, but nobody was there. It was abandoned, and he had no idea where it was. "I heard your voice telling me to hurry up and get on the train already-"  
That was apparent, from being hesitant of stepping on the train due to not being able to see the tracks further down the line. It looked like a void, under the train. But he got on anyways, with a arm pulling him in. He told him all of this, and Alex patiently listened...

"Then what?"  
"You kinda... Held my hand, like this. You were really excited to be showed around, but- it wasn't here. I didn't know the area either... And I told you that. " He laughed, remembering the sight of Alex's face in disbelief of how Wilbur didn't know the area. _"You fucking idiot- how are you literally Taking me on a MYSTERY date??"_ He remembered his words, but didn't mention them. "You told me off for taking you somewhere even I didn't know-" "As I should've!! - jesus christ having you take me somewhere I don't even know- sounds terrifying knowing you!!" "Knowing me?? What's that fucking mean??" The two laughed, as Alex messed up his own hair again.

"Your like- unpredictable... But in the best way possible, y'know??"

Wilbur didn't seem to understand where he got it from, but oh well. His loss. "As I was saying.... We started going around the place. It was a lot like home, but it was weird. I couldn't see very far, and it felt so... Crowded. But nobody but us was around. We went to some stores, and eventually a coffee shop- I think.. "

It wasn't, but close enough buddy. It was a bakery, and both of them were sat at a table for some odd reason. He didn't remember walking there.  
"All eye's felt on me and you... I was too nervous to try and eat, and you were talking about something... I don't remember what. But the scene changed"

As usual, dreams had to get worrisome at some point or another. The nervous feeling in him feeling like a large pit settling in him, like vines slithering their way around his lungs whenever he wanted to speak or try to listen to Alex. He couldn't remember much about that part, except feeling like the room was getting smaller and smaller around him. Noises felt distant, and the warmth he had in his hands felt too real right then. Much, too real. Like he was sinking into a pit of his own fear to actually tell Alex how he felt. That, he wouldn't tell.

He trusted Alex with so much, but never would have the nerve to tell him how he felt. He didn't even want to try an remember how it all started. After an uncomfortable silence from him, he felt a hand on his shoulder- flinching at the soft touch that felt a lot harder than it actually was. "Hey, its okay... You kinda had a scary moment, huh? We all kinda have those!!" Alex had offered the comforting smile, but Wilbur didn't want to continue what happened next.

"... Y-you're sure with what I say, won't ruin our relationship?"  
" Well yeah! I promised, I'm not gonna break that promise.."

Silence, filling the void of the room right then. The light humming of the air conditioner being the only real thing that seemed to make noise right then.  
And soon starting again.

"It felt like a pit of... Anxiety, I guess.. And you were watching me sink further and further- but at the same time, you were trying so hard to pull me out of it. You couldn't get a grip on my coat- and then you fell in with me..."  
He fell in, and both were tangled together for a moment as Alex was trying to either calm him down or figure out what to do. He couldn't remember. It was dark, he felt thorns against his skin where Alex touched, but there were no wounds. "Your hands went around my neck, and..." He stopped. He didn't want to tell him that he kissed him while telling him to calm the hell down. "Uh... We-... Kissed. There, I fucking said it." He muttered, his face growing hotter by the minute as he couldn't make himself look at Alex then. He just told him something that was- was just... Downright mortifying, to even imagine of doing. He felt that same pit in his stomach like he did before. The looming fear of rejection. The string he didn't want to let go of, but god did he want to hide it. He wanted to hide how much more of it he wanted. The idea of holding onto the hope that- maybe.. Maybe, it'd work. All of it made Wilbur's hands feel clammy. Numb, and clammy. Even holding his hands together tightly, or mindlessly pulling at his hair didn't seem to help the fear that already settled in him. Like he could throw up everything right then. His thoughts, his mind in general. Just throw it all up in a horrible conjunctioned mess of feelings

But the confession of the dream had put a small smile on Alex's face. He actually was told the dream. Or a majority of it, anyways. But he made no comment, even if he could've embarrassed Wilbur right then. "T-that... Happened... And the shop we were in didn't quite exist anymore... We were in an abyss together, and held- close. You... Were just really comforting..." Wilbur mumbled through the awful feeling he held so close to him, not daring to make eye contact with the shorter one. It felt like that string would snap, if he even dared try. Try to mention it, or try to push the subject. _snap!_ all of it just falls apart and he's left alone with unrequited feelings. It was slowly becoming a feeling of suffocation. That of which, he didn't like this time.

"Welll... Did ya tell me that you loved me?" Alex simply asked in a singing, simple tune as Wilbur said nothing, but the wringing of his hands seemed to stop right then. Why would he say that? Looking dead at Alex, his thoughts were all over the place right then. The string didn't break, but it was being tugged, by him. And it was being what felt like, treated like it was a joke. It was a joke to him. It was all a joke. Something that could've ruined their relationship, and he maybe saw it all as a joke. Yet, he still forced himself to answer. ".... Maybe, why?"

"Maybe, I could give a genuine answer. From my very own damn lips." He shot back, and a pang of fear had hit Wilbur in that moment. Was Alex going to tell him he didn't even consider it? Tell him he didn't care and still saw him as a friend. The string was falling apart at every thought that plagued Wilbur's mind, and even the hum of the air conditioner didn't feel like it made any noise anymore. It was unbearably quiet. So, so very quiet... But Alex wanted the confession first. Short motherfucker.

"I-....I did, then..."

An honest, short confession. Alex didn't really think he would, as his smile dropped then. Oh god. Oh no. He didn't know how he felt but he really couldn't of said the same right then. Of course he felt different about Wilbur compared to most people- but was it actual love?? He didn't want to just confess and have himself be wrong. His own feelings fading. "I-I um.... Wil..... Uh.... T-this isn't a rejection!! Oh my god- wait- I.... I just... Need a little time to think..." He admitted, and the tension between the two, seemed to break right then. The string had broken, with such a muddled, confused reply. But even through the mess of feelings both had felt right then... Something felt right, between the two. Something was okay, if it was a rejection. Some part of Wilbur, felt okay to try and let go of the string.

Alex had set his empty cup down, and laid his head back down on Wilbur's lap, laughter escaping him. "... I care about you a lot... I just- need to think when I'm sober.." he mumbled, and Wilbur nodded.

"..Take all the time you need..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo originally this was gonna be based off the song Freaking Out, specifically the acoustic version bc yeah, and wil gonna have a moment of being lost in a wooded area after mistakingly confessing to alex without meaning to. But i got so stuck that it messed the plot up so much that >:( yeah i hate this im so sorry


	9. I've Been Ghosting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Unfinished Symphony lol  
> did i really name this a mother mother song because the song makes me emotional? yeah

The lack of sound was almost deafening then, to Alex. Being left injured with now a prosthetic right leg, scars beyond belief, and deaf in his right ear... Rereading the letter gave him no sort of joy. It didn't fill him with sorrow, either. He felt empty, and torn from the main thing that had him stuck here. The main person, who now just made him numb. Laying in that hospital bed, and rereading every word of it over and over again, and the ring left in the envelope, almost felt like a cruel joke. Wilbur knew what he was doing, and yet he decided to put it in words, than say with his own lips. He didn't want to be here.... He really thought they'd make it out together. He was a fucking fool to believe he'd actually have a special day, there, in this awful home of L'manburg. _"I wrote this as my final goodbye, to you and everyone that provided such a life for me-"_ those words alone, put such a bitter taste in his mouth.

He knew it was a final goodbye, and he could've been stopped.

Looking out of the window gave no reassurance either, the late night stars and the moonlight shining over the wreckage that was somewhere once of worth to him. The rubble settled, and now the construction of the new platform above the wreckage. It didn't feel the same. It never would, feel the same. Letting out a soft sigh, he had soon begun to try an stand, even if the bandages covering his scarring through his arms, chest and his neck were in pain. The obsidian prosthetic didn't really cooperate with him yet, but... he did get himself to stand. Even if he had to have support from the side table of the bed, he had gotten himself steady. But even looking back at the letter...

_"With full love,_  
_Wilbur Soot"_

_What love was there in that?_

He picked up the letter anyways, tenderly and holding it to his chest. As bitter as he was, he loved him too much to let go so soon... And out the door of the room he went. He knew others were in the hospital too. Tubbo with severe injuring, Tommy who needed a replacement arm- but he wasn't sure who'd gotten him the latest model... He didn't want to know, either. There was a light scraping on the ground, as Alex had walked through the halls, and the leg slightly dragging behind him. He knew he shouldn't of been up, but he stopped at Tubbos door anyways, looking in quietly..

It almost hurt, to see so many firework burns on him. Scarred from neck, hands, arms- and the chest area clearly bleeding through. He'd fought a lot more than he ever wanted to admit, and yet Alex only wish he asked for help more. He walked passed his door, and soon to the exit of the building. The warm, but uncomfortable air hitting him in the face, and soon making his way down the short steps and all to the rubble they all couldn't just avoid. The ruins of what once was happy, and could've been so much happier...

He didn't even really realize he was being watched, here..

The platforms that was stable enough to be stood on, still smelt heavily of freshly done wood, and a mix of gun powder. Even if the rubble settled, the area still remained marked by it. There was no way someone could just... Hide it. Hide what Wilbur really did. But the soft clanking on the wood of where his foot dragged is what brought him to a stop, looking at where he last saw Wilbur.

Being stabbed by Phil.

Phil was a guilty party here, yet as much as he wanted to be bitter over him... Wilbur had asked him to kill him. He asked, and was basically forced. But he could've thrown it to the side and stopped him- he could've **done** something. Scowling at the thought, he stared at the place that he died. "It was right here, wasn't it...?" He asked nobody, in the silence of the night. His voice croaked, as he didn't want to cry right then. He didn't want to cry. Not again. Not for someone who ruined not just his future, but so many others. "I stood... Right here, and watched you die. From your own dad! From your own **fucking** dad..." He laughed a bit, his cheek with scarring stinging as tears unwillingly flown. It was a chaos of emotions, influencing actions he'd not want to do. Why would he cry? Why would he want to have the memory of Wilbur's laugh burned into his memory? The time's they were getting used to each other, the first night they were held... So very close. It felt like a night under a million stars, with him. Being held by him. Looking to the sky and being called the brightest of them all, because Alex apparently shined to him. He was his star, that now was diminished among ashes and rubble of what once was, bright. Yet he was quick to hide the tears again, wiping his face carefully.

"... I wanna put on the ring, Wil... I really do... But I don't wanna be hurt forever by this.... " He whispered, looking at the letter, and pulling out the intact ring from inside. Gold, elegant, and... Simple. Like what Wilbur would've got. He wanted to imagine him being the one to ask it when he wasn't expecting, and laugh at the memory down the line. But he was told through a letter. A letter of a dead man. Eyes burned into the back of Alex's head. Sad, hurt eyes that wanted to take everything back. God, what Wilbur would do to take it all back. To be in Alex's arms again, and at night pushing his head into his shoulder, and the little laugh that always came from it. _"Ohhh I always thought you were gonna be the big strong one to always hold me!! Hold me and-" "Oh would you be **quiet?** Let me just take your jacket while at it..." _That night was memorable, as Wilbur still had Alex's jacket that he wore under the stars that night. Being held by him, but now it'd only be a ghost in Alex's arms... How sad, to be invisible to someone you loved. 

But Alex didn't feel any of it. He didn't feel the ghostly Stare behind him, standing on the same platform as him. There was no notice. Wilbur, fearful to show himself. Alex, unknowing. He put the ring back in the envelope, and started slowly walking to the site of where Wilbur died at. A rough climb, and even if he bled some through his bandages, he had eventually made it to the place that Wilbur made, just to ruin their future... laid in ruins.

It wasn't the same as when they were there so many times. He kept saying there was so much to gain, from this. But everyone lost _so much._ Alex lost, so much. He lost his president he betrayed. He lost his soon to be husband, he lost the will to keep a steady train of thought. He didn't want this Reality, and he wanted to change it. But he didn't want to be sad forever, from it. He wanted to do better, to be better, to bring the home back he once knew-

But what made it all home, was considered gone.

The chair that Wilbur sat in, was left in shambles... But Alex had sat in it anyways. Moving the prosthetic so he could be curled into himself slightly... He didn't know where to start to move on. He was alone, and as of then, it felt like he'd forever be alone. And even the ghost that may haunt him, made him feel alone.

The ghost that would haunt him, only felt pain by this. Wilbur didn't want to see him this miserable. He wanted to take so much of it back, and he couldn't even bare to show himself in front of Alex. He wanted to hold him again, and remember only the things that made him happy... But he cant do that with the guilt weighing on his shoulders. Hiding in plain sight. He was right in front of Alex, but didn't want himself to be seen. Even just a cautious, gentle touch to Alex's cheek made the shorter one shiver, and looking around the room again.

The wind wasn't even blowing, and even then it was mildly humid air blowing through. "... Hello?" A soft voice came from Alex, but there was no reply. Adjusting a bit in the chair, Alex took a look around the room again... And the bloodstain of where Wilbur was, hidden partly by his own shadow against the moonlight. It was sickening, really... That he was sitting where he died. Did Wilbur feel any regret from what he did? From asking to die? Yes. He did. And he wanted to tell Alex that, badly.

Alex slowly stood up again, and having carefully pocked the envelope, he was about to leave- until feeling like he was grabbed. The tight feeling of arms being around him, restraining him from leaving, but didn't seem to struggle against him to drag him anywhere. Of course it was scary, he couldn't exactly move right then, but looking down at himself, he could see indents of someone, or something holding him. A cold feeling, resting on his unharmed shoulder... But even for how cold it all was, it felt warm... and inviting.

"... Wilbur?"

Hushed words escaped Alex, unsure if it was actually Wilbur or not. But he got his answer from looking back down, and seeing the faint sight of yellow sleeves, pale, dirtied hands, and a slow look at his shoulder shown a faint look of Wilbur, hiding his face in his shoulder. "Wilbur... W-Wil- your.... Here?" He spoke, rather shaken by the sight of seeing him again. How he was, before all of this... Wilburs head shifted to look at him, a sad, desperate look stuck in his ghastly eyes. Eyes that weren't the same, as burned into Alex's memory so, so very well. _"I regret everything, Alex.... I wish I could take it all back...."_

Echoed, faint words that hit harder than Alex wanted it to. If he only grew to regret it, why did he even do it? "... You lied to me" he softly said, Looking away from him and out back to the platform below. "You lied, when you knew what you were doing ... A-and you expected a letter to help me move on from it?" He said, as Wilbur looked ashamed. Something else he shouldn't of done...

"I'm... Basically alone here, Wilbur. I lost my fucking motivation of being here, working hard for this place ... It was you, and everything before the stupid fucking war. None of it needed to happen. I could've worked for Schlatt- and seen you. I could've managed things, but it escalated. You lost yourself so fucking hard- and for **what?** What was there to gain out of r-ruining what we had! We had so fucking much and just for you saying you wanted to take it back- it doesn't take back any fucking damage!!"  
_"....Your- you're staying... Right?...."_  
_"_ Why would I? Nothing feels the same. It doesn't feel like home anymore...."

And he was right. Nothing felt the same anymore. Even with the efforts to build over history, nothing felt the same. His body, wasn't the same. His emotions weren't the same. He would never be the same. _"... I won't be here long, but-... Please, don't leave..."_ The faint voice of Wilbur's echoed again, as his ghostly hand went through Alex's. He couldn't even properly hold it. "You left without a goodbye. You ruined our home... Why shouldn't I give you the same treatment?" He bitterly spoke, soon removing himself from Wilbur's hold, and looking up at him, as his face softened.

He looked so scared.  
So pale.  
So... Gone.

"... I love you, Wilbur... I just need time..." He whispered, as the bitterness was held in his heart, but it hurt to say. He loved him, but he despised him. He hated his self centered goal, but how caring he truly was. The faint hands went to hold Alex's face, the cold touch almost soothing against the facial scarring.. and a gentle warmth on his head. Wilbur had kissed his forehead, in wanting to cherish the moment.

_**"Please don't be gone long...** _  
**_I'll be waiting"_ **


End file.
